Marketing that makes you go hmmm

How often do you receive, hear, or see an advertisement that just completely confounds and confuses you? Probably more often than the companies who employ these marketers would like. It makes me go hmmm, but not in a good, thoughtful way, more like a who the hell would approve this kind of way.

For example this afternoon I received this email from a comedy club that I had once submitted my name to in hopes of winning free tickets to a future show.

This was the whole email and the title of it was "Yuk Yuk's special Announcement"

Sooooooo, I can surmise from the local service provider that this is a new television station but other than that it really tells me absolutely nothing. The email was also just one big image which I have now copied to make fun of them for not knowing how to market, and it did not click me anywhere. Not to a page dedicated to the television channel or anything. I watch a decent amount of television and i've never heard anything about this channel, I haven't read anything online about it or seen anything in a newspaper.

As far as I know, this is the first effort they have put into marketing this channel. Fail.

Confusing your customers

To write, direct, and produce a 30 second television commercial is expensive, then you get into placing it on television and the costs continue to rise higher and higher.

So why would you waste your companies advertising dollars on something that doesn't explain a competitive advantage of yours, or even really explain what your offering your customers.

Exhibit A: Ramada worldwide




At least there is an offer in the second ad that may help explain what the advertisement is for. What is their message supposed to be though? "Do your thing"
Do you get a lot of scottish kilt wearing business people that like to ride bulls as guests at your hotel? Is that the niche market your targeting with these ads? Because to me you seem to be advertising to just-graduated frat college people that are starting out in the business world and want somewhere they can crash after a party. If that is the message, well then I guess well done. But to me instead of making a couple of crappy 15 second ads, why not create a full 30 second ad that will actually grab peoples attention and tell them why they should stay at your hotel.

Compare that to the Holiday Inn Express commercials, which use the same sort of angle in their ads of not talking about the hotel but rather the person that would stay in it. However, Holiday Inn Express does a lot better job of getting across the message of why or who would stay at their hotels - Smart people. They are telling their audience that their hotel is a no brainer.



The Holiday Inn Express team obviously spends a lot more money on creating their commercials but they are getting a lot more return on their investment than Ramada is in my opinion.

Crying wolf

How often do you see a car advertisement that doesn't tout "Best Deals of the Year", "Sale on Now" or "Now is the time to buy". In fact, there is even a radio ad playing right now that i've heard multiple times that goes a little something like this:

"Sometimes with all the car ads saying "Now is the time to buy" it can be tough to know when the best time is to buy. But this time we mean it, now is the time to get to your Mazda dealer!"

Really? That's what you came up with?

People are completely numb and dull to these car advertising tactics nowadays - they are old and played out. The car companies have cried wolf one too many times and the consumer is onto their tactics. Maybe these have worked in the past but if a company like GM or Chrysler want to actually start gaining traction in the market place maybe they should take a drastic look at their marketing/promotions ideas and come up with something creative for once instead of the tired, old status quo.

The new age consumer is much more cogniscent of marketing, especially old school tactics that companies have been running out for decades. I can't wait for the follow up commercial that touts "Employee pricing on now".

"But people come to our lots when we say sale"

Well maybe you should start from the bottom up and start creating better cars that people enjoy, don't get frustrated with, and will tell all their friends about. Create a long term sales, marketing and production strategy instead of letting your production/design fully determine the marketing strategy.

Just a thought. But what do I know, i'm only a consumer.

Marble: The official cheese of Kliff's Notes

Are you going to go out and buy a block of marble cheese now that you know it is the "Official Cheese" of the world-famous Kliff's Notes blog???

No? Well...shit. Good thing the cheese people aren't paying me then I guess.

This blog post is based on me walking into my local Subway and noticing on the door that Subway is now the "Official Sandwich of the BC Lions". I almost turned around and left, more because I dislike the CFL and the BC Lions than the sandwich shop itself. But do sponsorship dollars, like Subway no doubt had to spend to get this lofty title, spent on these type of sponsorships really work? Will I ultimately buy Gillette deodorant because it is the "Deodorant of the NHL"? Nope, not a chance.

Now there are obviously other parts to these sponsorship deals - exclusive mention on team/league websites, programming, etc. - but the whole "Official so and so" seems like such a joke way to explain things. Sponsorship that is more directly related to the sport/league/event makes sense to me, ie. "Blackberry, the official way to act like your working when really your sitting on your ass eating cheetos" or "Depends, the official diaper of long bowling" works fine for me. But the official sandwich of a football team? Nope, I just don't care.

Microsoft using their customers for more than feedback

Over the past couple of years Microsoft has launched a number of different advertising campaigns and some of them have been incredibly successful, thanks in large part to the use of an adorable little girl


However, none of their advertising ever seems to live up to the stylish, cool Apple advertising. So, most recently they have been using the "We listen to you" sales tactic in their advertisements. Not a bad idea. Let your customers know that you listen to them and value their feedback. Good concept, but as I kept seeing these customer-centric ads I could'nt help but feel like something just wasn't quite right.




Then it hit me.....they are using their customers as scapegoats! "Windows 7 was my idea". So when Windows 7 goes wrong like so many of its predecessors (Vista, XP, etc) then Bill can just point right back at the people complaining and blame it on them. It's pure evil genius! No wonder he is much richer than I am.

You know you've done your job as a marketer when..

When your campaign can make another marketer realize that they need your product then you have officially done your job as a professional marketer.

I realized this after seeing a recent Sensodyne commercial on TV. The commercial was nothing flashy, funny, or attention grabbing, what it did was tell me the benefits of the product and hit the right target market - me. Sometimes marketing can seem complicated, trying to grab peoples attention with a fancy new guerilla campaign featuring monkeys released into the city with a fancy website you designed painted on their backs. But sometimes, it's just as easy to stick to the old mantra of tell your target what you are offering them and what the benefits are to them. Make it look professional and show them you have knowledge in the area.

That's what Sensodyne did, and that's why I use their toothpaste.

This is an older commercial but still follows the same format as the commercial I saw.



Have you thought about dumbing down your marketing and just getting to the point of what you have to offer your target?

Cialis commercials come up limp

As most people in the marketing world know Cialis, Viagra, and other pills aimed at adding some pop to people's peckers have restrictions on the type of things they can say and do in their advertisements. This has led to some amazingly creative work from Viagra and to a lesser extent Cialis.



But some of the latest Cialis commercials are more puzzling than interesting, funny, or attention-grabbing. First they had one featuring a guy at work sitting on some scaffolding (I can't find the commercial on youtube) and then all of a sudden the scaffolding starts moving and being pulled down roads back to his house where his "lady friend" is watering the garden or something. They are clearly going for a symbolism-type commercial but I am totally missing this one.

Then they came up with this

cialis morning from Me on Vimeo.

Here's my idea for the next Viagra/Cialis/Levitra campaign.

A man is rummaging around in his record/CD collection. He picks up a new disc/record and looks at the back of it. He throws it over his shoulder. More rummaging ensues. Again he picks up a disc, looks at the back, thinks about it for a moment and then tosses it over his shoulder. More rummaging. He finds another disc, and a broad smile crosses his face. He removes the disc and puts it in the player. Cut to his wife reading in another room. Marvin Gaye, Let's Get it on, begins to play loudly and the noise enters the room the wife is in. A broad smile crosses her face. Close with the standard Viagra ending.

BAM! That's how its done Cialis.